So, the end of the third quarter coincided with a journaling challenge over at Weeds and Wildflowers. I ended up with a lot of journaling! (imagine that!). Anyway, here goes!
Credits: Life 365 Collection, Kicking Up the Leaves (ribbon), Life is Good kit (paper) Stitching ABCS (Cardboard and Wrinkled) all by Gina Marie Huff. For the "This is What I Know" W&W challenge.
Journaling reads:
One thing I know about MY SELF is that I am very focused. I can sit still with something that holds my interest for hours on end. I would up as a doctoral candidate in a department of English literature precisely because I so love to sit with a good book. I often sit for hours these days with my MacBook digiscrapping instead. Perhaps this is because reading is now work time for me, sitting with a book is not the same pleasure it once was. It's a different pleasure, but one that I need release from sometimes. On the other hand, I love this project, but I also feel guilty about it--I should probably be spending the time I digiscrap dissertating instead. At the same time I thin that it's fair to recognize that I have a lot on my plate now and that we can only have this adventure once! Focusing on dissertating has been extra challenging for me for the exact same reasons that make this year a great one to undertake a 365 project! And, round and round I go, justifying my self to myself. Thing is, when I decided to do a 365 project, I decided I would see it through no matter what. And the same goes for my dissertation. I'm focused on getting that finished up. I'll see it through.
What I know about MY BEN is that I am really proud of him and I am so happy to be his partner for life. He is so much more confident in himself these days--he has seen how he can be a business leader and knows that he will be able to make it a reality. He has always said he was going to be an elite executive and now he's actually on his way to becoming the kind of man he wanted to be. I don't care what he does just so long as he is happy and I love seeinghis confidence grow because he is actively making his dream happen. Ben will be a conscientious, kind-hearted and, I hope, demanding (in a good, encouraging way) business leader when he returns to the work force with his M.B.A. He has a truly good heart and he will do good things in whatever field he ends up working in. I appreciate that he thinks that our careers are equally important and that he is committed to following me wherever I find a position that I love, too. He is so supportive of what I do and the struggles I see myself facing as a dissertator and as a mom. He strives to be an excellent co-parent and it shows. Jayne adores him. And I know that I do, too.
What I know about MY JAYNE is that she is my sunshine. I love her more than pickles, than ketchup, than ice cream, than coffee. We play this game where I list things I love less than her. For now (and I think this will change) she always responds, "no." She knows that I love her love her love her but she's 2 1/2 and her reflex response to anything is 'no!". I don't take it personally. What her response reminds me, though, is that I always want her to hear me say that I love her, but also to know on a deepr level that I love her love her love her. The danger of a profession that is as consuming as academia is that we are often overly distracted by work when it would be better to be focusing on the people we love best. I think that, on the other hand, contemporary expectations about parent-child relationships are, I think, rather too stifling. Kids need space to learn about what they love all on their own. And my Jayne, wow, is she good at learning! She is such a smartie, such a vibrant child. I love her more than books, than writing, than taking pictures. I love her, love her, love her.
We are really happy with the life that we have made for ourselves together. Graduate school is challenging no matter what your circumstances are. Sure, most people don't attempt it once they have kids but we aren't most people. We are still thrilled with our decision to learn what it's like to live in England while Ben earns his M.B.A. We see this as such an opportunity to see the world and to get to know people from other cultures. We've forged friendships with people from all over the world. We can empathize with other ways of life more deeply simply because we have learned that we can be flexible with the way we live ours. We know that we are privileged as citizens to be able to do this, to move across whatever national border we want to cross simply because we happened to be born in the states. We know that we are privilidged to be able to afford to finance this simply because we happened to be born into middle class families that could afford and valued good educations and got us started on this path. We know we're living a year of OUR LIFE that we will look back on for years to come.
